Misery loves company (part 1): How to avoid catching bad moods from others

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Photo Credit: Markus Spiske on Unsplash

It’s fascinating how contagious emotions are and how much we are affected by each others energy.  Sometimes going out with a friend can charge you up and make you feel like you can climb our solar system’s largest mountain on Mars, and other times after hanging out with someone, you feel like you want to crawl into a dark hole and troll people online.

Being aware of your emotional state after interactions can really help you clean house when you need to thin out and beautify your acquaintance herd.  Of course, we all get down sometimes and no human-being can be “up” 24/7, but its those ones that are always sucking the lifeforce out of you that you might reconsider keeping around.  

Now unfortunately, some energy vampires aren’t all that easy to boot out of your life completely, usually these downers fall into the family circle – the ones that are around for the long haul.  And if that’s your case, here are some alternative methods to help you preserve a good mood when you have a date with doom & gloom.

  • Prime yourself before your interaction by using the power of visualization.  Stash your positivity away for safe keeping. Imagine putting your awesome energy in a metaphysical box, locking it, and leaving it in your car or tucked away in your purse/murse.  After the encounter, regardless of how draining it was, you can open up your awesome energy box and retrieve it all back. You might also want to load up on all of the new-aged protection gear and fill your pockets with crystals, splash essential oils all over yourself and eat a bunch of garlic before you go, it couldn’t hurt…
  • While in their presence, ask a million questions.  Keep the conversation all about them so you limit the amount of energy your expending.   This will give them less to knit-pick you about and at the same time help keep their energy levels up – especially if you fish for hidden excitement in their life.  Think of it as a social experiment based on curiosity.
  • Be untouchable.  No matter what they say, do, trigger in you, or whatever buttons they push – just be a neutral witness that takes nothing personally.  Instead of relating with their insecurities, identifying with their half-empty-glass or taking on their limitations, act as though you are watching a movie play out from the sidelines that has absolutely nothing to do with you.  
  • Don’t be too serious.  Seriousness will pop your inner bubbles.  Try to have fun and bring laughter into both of your lives.  This will boost your collective oxytocin levels (happy hormone) and enable you to shed light unto some of the darkness in our world.  Be the change
  • Stay away from the heated ego-mind and chill-out in your heart.  Tweak your perceptions and find a way to love them instead of judge them.  Use the encounter as a method to boost your energy even more by exercising compassion and empathy.  Remind your bitter ego of their struggles and their unconscious conditioning.  No one chooses to be miserable on purpose.  Some people just haven’t learned any other way to be.
  • Regardless of this last point, don’t play ball with them. They so badly want you to be negative with them and dip down to their level so they don’t have to wallow all by their lonesome – but resist the descent, try not to enable them or feed into the negative cesspool.   Look for other ways to conversationally carry on instead. Interestingly, when you do this, they might be the one to ghost you next time.  Since misery loves company, when you don’t accompany them – they usually go company-hunting elsewhere – win/win!
  • If all of your light-hearted attempts get lost at sea and they insist on being toxic and polluting up the entire experience, consciously seal your energy while they are unloading theirs.  Imagine yourself untouchable as you rest in a glimmering white virgin egg – or something else to that affect that seems as pure.   If they get really riled up, you might want to visualize rays of positive protection beaming down onto you, shielding you from the negative ricochet.  No matter how much bad energy they fire – just sit back and bask in the good stuff.
  • Finally, be sure to schedule energy vampires scarcely and strategically and put a time limit on it.  “darnet! I only have 45 minutes to hang out”.   Be super busy in life and humour your busyness – laugh off your unavailability.  “I really have to stop saying yes to everything!” This is an important first and last point.  We are very impressionable creatures that are shaped by our environment. Therefore, establishing good hard boundaries is oh so crucial when protecting your life from misery.  

Sometimes however, no matter what we do to shelter ourselves, we fall vulnerable to the bad moods of others and they succeed in getting under our skin.  We will release part 2 of this blog to help remedy these occurrences – stay tuned for “how to break out of bad moods when you catch them” !